Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts

Monday, August 25, 2008

Dear Frankie: The chicken or the egg?

Question
I'm in a bit of a weird situation. I am in my final year of university following which I will be moving home for a year as I am contracted to a graduate job there for one year. My boyfriend does not want to move to my hometown and I do not want to do long distance especially seeing as he is likely to head to Australia. We have painfully admitted to each other that while we love each other we cannot see ourselves being together in the long-term so there is no point trying to negotiate a way of working our relationship into the next year’s changes.

My predicament is therefore what do we do in the meantime? Currently we have decided to stay together till then as we live only houses apart and share the same group of friends therefore would be miserable seeing each other but not being together. My best friend thinks that I should start moving on and break-up with him now however I think that the break-up would be easier when we are living apart and will not be seeing each other constantly.

I’m 22 almost 23 and am worried that I shouldn't be wasting my time when I could be out there finding someone who is my future. What do you think? Are we stupid for just delaying the inevitable?
Thanks,
Anonymously torn
Answer
Dear anonymously torn,
Your name sums the situation up perfectly. ‘Anonymously Torn’ you must become ‘Accountably Decisive’. To do this you need to:
- MAKE decisions based on facts, not assumptions
- STICK to your decisions
You haven’t pleaded your case that you love him, only that you will miss him from a front row seat. Causing me to think you have two options.
Option One – You feel moving cities is a comfortable way to leave him, but not the real reason. You are confident this is not a lasting relationship. You are looking for a way out that won’t hurt people’s feelings. If this is the case, don’t waste another second and end it now!
Option Two – You feel you are in a good relationship and the change of location is the real reason you want to break up. If so, try and enjoy your time together and diplomatically separate when you leave. This will be the easiest way to move forward.
It sounds like you have based current relationship decisions on a lot of assumptions.
- You assume now that you do not want to be together in the long-term.
- You assume he will move to Australia.
- You assume he will not go to your home town.
- And, you assume that your graduate role will work out and you will stay there.
If a single assumption changes the decision you make now will be useless, and on the table for constant change, opening this emotional wound again and again.
Therefore, it is important to trust your instincts and stick to them. I know I’m being hard but you are still young and you must protect your heart as best you can. Whether that be from leaving a boy you love, or staying with a boy you don’t. It’s your decision.
Good luck,
Frankie

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Frankie's 5 Men You'll Meet Before Mr. Right

If you've ever felt a sneaky suspicion he's not quite right for you, then you need to read our guide to the five boys that aren't forever material...
Generation Y dating habits swing between chronic impatience and the need to ‘try before we buy’. We all want to find Mr. Right NOW but don’t believe in settling for the first guy that comes our way. What? Basically, we are our own worst enemies. Most of us try on many partners to learn about ourselves, what we like and confirm our final choice is the absolute best available.

But for how long do we window shop? I often worry that if I wait until I am 30 to settle down all the good bargains will have been snapped up! OK, enough with the shopping metaphor but you see what I’m getting at. So, I have devised a ‘top 5 boys’ list of guys you should date before you settle down with the one.

The bad boyThink Tyler Durden from Fight Club or ‘Mad’ Max. He’ is intense, rough around the edges, a leader but also a bit of a loner, detached and a hard arse (hopefully has hard abs too!)
What’s attractive?Bad is hot. Big muscles, car grease, devil may care attitudes – yum yum! They ooze confidence and you love them paying attention to you. Everything they do is exciting, spontaneous and risky.
What’s not so attractive?His spontaneous behavior will also apply to you, he’ll stand you up, treat you mean and even embarrass you. His unreliable nature will wear thin pretty quickly as you begin to feel used and ignored. Intimacy is not a strength of his and the more you want it, the less he gives.
What he’ll teach you?Once you’ve seen the other side of the grass is not greener, you will be more content to stay on straight side of the wild side. You will appreciate the steadiness and loyalty of your final partner and truly understand that you cannot change people.
The passionate lover
Think Leo in Romeo and Juliet. The passionate lover is absolutely besotted with you, and you with him. You will want to spend every minute together and fulfill each other’s every need. A very intense emotional relationship with amazing highs and soul crushing lows.
What’s attractive?You feel like a goddess! You feel loved, worshipped and your estrogen levels are going crazy. Your world is filled with sunshine and lollipops.
What’s not so attractive?Suddenly the attentiveness becomes needy, overbearing and you feel suffocated. This kind of love is unsustainable and unhealthy. Many women will feel that they loose their sense of self and isolate loved ones.
What he’ll teach you?You will tackle the question ‘is love enough?’ and discover what else is important to you. Things such as compatibility, unconditionally support, truth and reality will lead you away from the fragile Disney picture of happily ever after.
The box ticker
Think Aidan Shaw in Sex in the City. The box ticker is the kind of guy your mother would pick, and your family will love him at Christmas dinners. He has a respectable stable job, is good with cars, can kill spiders and will always tell you your bum looks great in that skirt!
What’s attractive?It’s easy, everyone will love him and on paper, so do you. He treats you with respect and you can map out the rest of your blissful life together in a committed adult relationship.
What’s not so attractive?Predictable can be boring, life is too short not to reach for the stars. Your heart does not always agree with your head, and you may feel repressed and resentful in the future.
What he’ll teach you?This time the question, ‘is sensible enough?’ will plague you. Suddenly new things you hadn’t thought of before are important to you - like being challenged, learning and having passion.

The Chloe Handbag
Think Hollywood’s A list - Jude Law, Orlando Bloom or Jesse Metcalfe. He usually dresses like a model, is swarve, charismatic, charming and everyone will be so jealous of you!
What’s attractive?He is! And so are you when you are showing him off. Your photo album never looked better! You feel the need to introduce him to everyone you’ve ever met referring to him as ‘your boyfriend’ every opportunity you get!
What’s not so attractive?You know you deserve the finest in the world but you are secretly worried. Worried he’s going to cheat, you’re not attractive enough, why he is he with me at all and that it won't last. This leads to an insecure foundation and eventual heartbreak.
What he’ll teach you?Once you’ve proven to yourself you can get the stud you can focus on a 'good personality'. Personal priorities appear, ‘am I willing to spend that much time maintaining the outside appearance?' Your grandmother told you, but now you believe her ‘looks aren’t everything.'


The diamond in the rough
Think poor Albert Brennaman in Hitch or Harry Goldenblatt in Sex and the City. The diamond in the rough is an old-fashioned fixer upper. He is endearing, makes a good friend, is a tad socially awkward and usually has some random specialty.
What’s attractive?His comfortable and loving nature puts you at ease. You find his little flaws, that only you understand, charming. You value each other and smile when you think about him.
What’s not so attractive?It may be difficult for your friends and family to understand the attraction and to accept him straight away. His faults will become too hard to look past making you frustrated, and the rough may mean you are not as attracted to him as you want.
What he’ll teach you?He will teach you the value in getting to know the genuine individual within and that nobody is perfect, even you.
Once you have been with these five you will have experienced a variety of the highs and lows that love offers. You will have learnt what’s truly important to you and the strengths you can offer to your Mr. Forever. Don’t forget, he’s out there trying to find you too!

Good Luck!
Frankie

Frankie's Oprah Career Makeover

Taking this month’s theme to heart, our girl Frankie called in Oprah for a little help to find her career G spot! This month she talks us through how you too can utilize your individual strengths to shine in all facets of your life, including your career!
What’s the deal?
I, like many young women, am searching for a meaningful career where I enjoy getting up in the morning. I want to contribute to society, earn good money and be happy. When I heard about the free online eight part workshop I thought, ‘This is it! A way to pinpoint my strengths and work towards my perfect job, now!’
Each session runs for approximately 20 minutes and helps you identify your individual strengths and weaknesses. It then teaches you how to utilize them to love your job. Each session can be listened to via iTunes or streamed as a webcast.
Oprah’s involved?
Of course! We know I love Oprah and now I love her friend Marcus Buckingham, a well known career expert too! As well as being a gorgeous English graduate from Cambridge, he has revolutionized the world of employee productivity and leadership; spending two decades helping people find their own strengths and long-lasting personal success.
What’s in it for me?
Most workers spend 90% of their day on things they don’t like doing! Buckingham aims at reducing that to only the essential 25%, and then tries to make those things fun too! His biggest catch cry is, ‘Stop trying to improve your weaknesses!’, as most people do not change; they simply become more intense versions of themselves. Buckingham looks at making sure we work at intensifying our strengths!
What should I tell my boss so she’ll help me?
Managers should be rejoicing your interest in identifying your strengths, so tell your boss “Buckingham says, ‘companies that focus on cultivating employees' strengths rather than simply improving their weaknesses stand to dramatically increase efficiency while allowing for maximum personal growth and success.” She will definitely be impressed!


Sounds great! How do I get started?
1:
Click here to visit Oprah's site and download the homework sheets. Yes, there are questions to be answered between sessions.

2:
The first session asks you to keep a list of things throughout a week that you love (feel strong doing) and loath (feel weak doing) e.g. ‘I felt strong when I was being spontaneous and taking a risk’ and ‘I felt weak when I was wasting time’.

3:
Watch the classes in order and listen to Buckingham’s great ideas and activities. He discussed, ‘strength statements’, the Peter principle, goal setting, myth busting and much much more.
What are my favourite lessons?
I learnt a lot from this course which I have been able to use straight away in my work and home life. The idea that, ‘just because you are good at something does not mean it’s a strength!’ opened my eyes to the guilt I felt from not enjoying things others think I am good at. Use the table below to find out if the activities you undertake are hobbies, strengths or weaknesses. We are aiming for all yes.









Then, once we have understood what a strength is we can use these strategies to improve it.

Strength Strategy – ‘FREE’
Focus: Identify your strengths in your current job, how can we do more of these?
Release: Identify missed strength opportunities and deliberately try to incorporate them in your daily role
Educate: Is there a skill you could learn to improve a strength?
Expand: Push your job towards your strengths, highly successful people don’t ‘find’ their perfect jobs, they build them

I’ve found my G spot, now I’m hungry for more job satisfaction…

The Oprah website has lots of information on Buckingham and his work, but if you decide to buy the most recent Gallup book, ‘Strength Finder 2.0’ you can use the code from there and log onto StrengthsFinder.com to take the ‘strength finder quiz’.
Oprah has interviewed lots of interesting business people and employment specialists. Click here to visit Oprah's site to get career advice from 'The Donald' (Donald Trump, including his controversial answers to ‘Should women use sex appeal to get ahead?’ and ‘Do you think it's a sign of weakness if a woman cries at the workplace?’
Whatever you do, do it regularly and do it with conviction. The only person who can best assess opportunities for you, is you! I found taking the course helped me believe I have individual strengths and that these strengths should be maximized in my work for the greatest results. Once you know who you are, shine.
Love Frankie xxx

Dear Frankie: Is he just a rebound?





Q: Dear Frankie,
I recently got out of a very unhealthy relationship with a guy I thought was 'the one', and who I would spend the rest of my life with. I am now in a new relationship, seven months later, and I'm not sure whether or not this is a rebound. My heart is telling me that I have true feelings for this new guy, although my mind seems to be second guessing my decision.

I really think I have feelings for this guy, but some of my thoughts keep strolling back to my old significant other. I'm confused about what to do, without seeming desperate to my new guy.

I believe that my new man is starting to catch on to my insecurity. How do I figure out whether or not this new relationship is meant to be, or if it's just a rebound?

Confused Heart


A: Dear Confused Heart,

I can hear the true angst you are feeling and I’ve spent the week pondering what the essence of the problem really is. Maybe you are:
1) Secretly missing the ex?

2) Trying to find an excuse not to stay with the new ‘rebound’ guy?

3) Genuinely worried about settling, worried you’ll miss out on something better?
If you’re missing the ex – snap out of it! Easier said then done I hear you say, but he sounds like the jerk of jerks, a waste of unhealthy time. If you do find your mind wandering back to him spend the time thinking about the lessons he taught you; ‘He taught me to always respect myself and expect others to do the same’ or ‘He taught me next time not to rush into intimacy so quickly.’ Be grateful that something positive came out of that relationship, then think good riddance!

Second option is more subconscious. I have never understood the term ‘rebound’. Does this mean every boyfriend after your first boyfriend is a rebound? It seems ridiculous! Another silly social faux par made up so people can judge you - get with a guy too quickly and you’re on the rebound – too slowly and you’re destined to be Bridget Jones? Don’t let others dictate your behavior, you are the only one that knows how long your heart takes to heal and how long during the last relationship you were hurting.

Finally, you seem to be like many women waiting for the ‘meant to be’ guy. We believe in the magic of ‘the right place and right time’ but then restrict it to after a period of being single? Nice guys are hard to find on a good day with a compass! Don’t risk losing this new one over nothing. If you’re still not sure maybe tell him you want to have some fun with it! Slow down, the guy probably doesn’t want to commit too heavily yet either.

So Confused Heart I would recommend you listen to your instincts. What is the real problem here? Basically, we want to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater!’ If you decide he’s just a rebound and you would rather wait for ‘the one’, get rid of him and wait. Or, if the problem is your own perception and expectations (the bathwater) work them out while you work on your relationship too (the baby).
Good luck!!

Read the further articles and questions at www.nzgirl.co.nz! And while you're there sign up and check out their great fashion, travel and useful girl power advice!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

MAY NZ GIRL Second Sneak Peak!


Q: Dear Frankie,
My groomsman won’t talk to my head bridesmaid! Just to paint the picture, the groomsman is my fiancés brother, and the head bridesmaid is my best friend. They used to date for three years, and the wedding is going to be awkward for them. Head bridesmaid
has been like a sister to me since we first met at the age of eight.
We have tried to arrange minimal contact for my sake. However, he continues to ignore her, gets grumpy when she rings and constantly bitches about her to me.
What should I do? A very Stressed Bride!
A: Dear Stressed Bride,
Ok, so this is a tricky one because there are multiple peoples’ feelings involved and you have to live with these people basically until death do you part, right? Unfortunately, you probably don’t want to pull a Donald Trump and say, ‘You’re fired!’ and walk away.
First question is: I understand these two people are important to you, but are they as important as yourself and your fiancé? I would hope the answer to this is no, of course not. This guy and you are about to do something pretty scary! Probably not much else is as important as this. Whether it is a wedding or a casual dinner party, you wouldn’t allow a guests’ negativity or problems to bring you down after you.
Second question is: And what is the purpose of a big wedding in general? I would hazard a guess that the reason you didn’t just run off and elope with your hubbie is because you wanted to share the special day with your friends and family? Yes? I don’t think their behaviour is allowing you to do this. You’re not having this big expensive party so your friends can have a free meal and carefree day while you stress and minimize awkwardness!
Third question: What is their fundamental role as head bridesmaid and groomsman? I would imagine the role of your two sidekicks was to handle any problems that may occur for the special day, not to create problems of their own! I’m worried maybe you think their job it to look good in the outfits you picked out and make up the numbers in the group photos. If this is the case any old friends would probably do!
Finally, I’m interested in why they declined to stand down but continue to act like small children? Maybe you could swap them with the page boys and flower girls so you had a more mature groomsman and maid of honour? If they were real friends, and as close and important as you think they are, they would put their differences aside and focus on you. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty as you’ve done nothing wrong, but if they refuse to grow up and shape up maybe you should replace the guilt with a bit of strength and tell them to ship out!

Read the further articles and questions at www.nzgirl.co.nz! And while you're there sign up and check out their great fashion, travel and useful girl power advice!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Tax Return Time

Ok kiddies, its tax return time, yeah!! I must confess that even I, a business nerd do not enjoy doing my tax return. But it must be done and hopefully you will get a bit of money out of it!
A financial year is from July 1st to June 30th the following year. This is the period of which your income is totaled and your tax is calculated from the tax you have already paid and that which you should have paid.
By the end of the financial year your employers should send you a group certificate as a total of your income and tax. You then have from July 1st to October 31st to lodge your tax return. Remember, the earlier you get it done the earlier you get any returns.
To carry out a tax return you must have a tax file number and group certificates from all of your employers over the past 12 months. If you don’t know if you need to lodge one go to http://calculators.ato.gov.au/scripts/axos/AXOS.asp and answer the questionnaire there to find out.
If you do have to complete one there are lots of ways to do so. You can go to www.ato.gov.au and complete the online e-tax section or over the phone. You can also pick up a hard copy of the TaxPack 2008 at newsagents and some book shops. Some registered tax agents offer student discounts to help do your tax returns. It can be a good idea to use a professional for this as they know the ins and outs of what can be deducted and get you your return quickly.
After you lodge your return they may say you owe the government tax. If this is the case the earliest you will have to pay it is November 21st, regardless of when you lodge your tax return.
Frequently asked questions around tax returns are about what work related expenses can you tax deduct? This is when a professional is handy. Basic things to think about are:

- Work uniforms with logos or embroidery on them are generally tax deductible
- Laundry and dry cleaning of these uniforms are also generally tax deductible
- Every industry and role will vary from what they will be allow to tax deduct. For instance, the modeling business will allow you to tax deduct haircuts and pedicures where as some sales role will include home internet and phone.
- Tax deductible car and public transport use is only considered between work hours. The use of your car or transport to get to and from work is not included.
- A percentage of educational expenses such as pencils, textbooks can be deducted if the studies are in direct connection with your employment.

Good luck and I hope it is as painless as possible!

Student Budgets

This month I want to write about the importance of understanding finances and budgeting. BORING I hear some of you groan, but it’s YOU who should read on! Unfortunately, whether you like it or not the world runs on money, economists call it the oil of the world. So best to keep your piece of the pie as yummy as possible!
What is the importance of budgeting?
What’s the point doing something if you don’t know why? When you begin budgeting you can have many reasons and great results. Some of these include:
- To know the truth about your financial state so you don’t get a scare or live beyond your means
- To use your money wisely so it better reflects your priorities and wants
- To save for something you really want maybe a ticket overseas, computer, car
- So you’re not getting ripped off by banks, other big institutions

Ok, so budgeting is important but how do I do it?
Keep a record of what you spend. There’s lots of ways of doing this, I keep a spreadsheet on my laptop but I use to write spending into the back of my diary. Some people keep all their receipts, others only use cards so they have a record online. However you do it you have to keep a record of where your money is going for budgeting and also in the future for tax.
I always start a budget by breaking down the cost of basic living weekly, fortnightly or monthly, whichever period works best for you. Refer to the useful links to get a downloadable or printable template to start budgeting with!
Firstly ask yourself what do you need, and how much do these cost. I have found some general ‘rules of thumbs’ for these. Rent or housing costs should equal about one third of your gross income (before tax). Utilities bills such as gas, water, electricity average about $2 to $3 a day in usage costs only, plus the annoying charges they seem to add on for no apparent reason, usually between $20-$30 a quarter. Transport is a real killer that lots of people forget. Tram tickets for students average to be about $3 a day, whilst cars can average $10 to $18 a day after insurance, servicing and petrol. Mobile phones and internet connections are always big killers for students’ hip pockets considered the number one cause of student debt. Generally you should not spend more then 10% of your net income (after tax) on these. Groceries are another big expense which can be difficult to calculate. I try to aim to spend no more then 20% of my net income on them. As students this probably doesn’t leave you with much! But if we can budget right we should have enough for the suggested 10% to 20% in savings.
The next thing is to look at what do you want to do? How much would you like to spend on going out, presents, clothes? What is necessary to keep you sane? Maybe you want to go to the movies once a week for $12 or out to dinner for $20, see a gig or get a few drinks at the local pub. Add these costs onto your budget too and see how realistic you’re expectations are.
An example of a typical student fortnightly budget might look like this:
Income - $680 net a fortnight
Work
$450
Net
Centrelink
$230
Net
Outgoings - $610 a fortnight
Rent
$290
Approx. one third of gross income
Bills
$30
Between $2 - $3 a day
Public Transport
$40
Between $2 - $3 a day
Phones & Internet
$35
Less then 10% of gross income
Groceries / Food
$155
Less then 20% of gross income
Going out
$60
Approx. $30 a week
Savings - $70 a fortnight
Between 10% and 20% of gross income
Not much room to move is there? This is why savings is important. If you lived on a knife edge like this and didn’t save you would have a very fragile lifestyle. Any little problem like an employer paying late, getting an infringement notice or going over on your phone bill will mean you won’t be able to make ends meet.
After you’ve done you’re budgets some ways of improving it should become clearer. In terms of spending maybe you need to change your mobile phone arrangements, find cheaper rent, eat in more or get rid of the car. Or maybe you find that you’re living comfortably within your basic needs and you are wasting lots of money on unnecessary things such as daily red bulls and trashy magazines? Maybe this money can be spent on bigger and better things instead.
On the other side of the coin maybe you need to earn more. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to work more. Changing your pay structure can help, for instance, if you are a casual employer and on Centrelink re-structuring your contract to a part time basis can even out your pay over holidays and sick days so you can claim more from Centrelink fortnightly. Or instead of working Saturdays try and work Sundays on a higher hourly rate. Or refer to last month’s magazine and ask for a pay rise!
Never the less, a budget should highlight that once daily needs are met you must prepare yourself for larger one off costs such as car insurance, a special friends birthday present, tickets to an expensive concert or a new piece of furniture etc. These things must therefore be saved for in advance, not via the credit card approach.
How to save
To save successfully it is important to have a goal. Ask yourself, how much do I want to save and by when i.e. ‘I want to have $1,200 by Christmas’, then work backwards. Ok, if Christmas is 26 weeks away I will have to save $46 a week,
26 x $46 = $1196.
But this is EVERY week, if you are likely to miss a few weeks over the next 6 months allow for this and factor it into your weekly amount say an extra $10. Therefore,
26 x $56 - $224 (4 missed weeks) = $1232.
If you currently have debt this should be your number one priority to save for and pay off. As a young person I often hear old people say, ‘In my day we didn’t live beyond our means and only bought things when we had the money in the bank.’ Well this is good in theory but our generation realizes that life is short and we take opportunities when they arise. This doesn’t mean you will never pay it back, it just means you have chosen to enjoy it now and pay for it later. When the ‘later’ comes be sure to pay your debts off from the one with the highest interest first. Many people make the mistake of paying the largest amount off first. The interest you save by paying off a higher interest card first will enable to you pay the lower one of faster later.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Tips on how to save

- Have multiple bank accounts, one for spending, and one for long term saving and one for medium term saving. This will stop you from spending it all at once.
- Look for account with high interest rates and low minimum amounts and charges.
- As soon as you receive income put the planned savings amount away. Do not wait until the end of the month to put it away because you will have spent it.
- Give yourself your planned spending amount in cash at the beginning of the week so you can see exactly how much you have left.
- If you are not good with cash buy things ahead of time so you’re not put in the situation of buying something on the spot where you are tempted to overspend.
- Consolidate multiple debts into one low interest loan, even if this means your parents pay your debts and you owe them the total amount.
- Avoid expensive supermarkets such as Safeway and Coles. Do your grocery shopping at markets such as Box Hill, Queen Victoria or Prahran for the vegetable, fruit and meat and get the other stuff from Aldi or BigW.
- Re-fill water bottles instead of buying new ones daily
- Buy your Metcards in bulk, 10 trips or monthly can save up to 20%
- Ask if you are eligible for discounts at bookshops, utilities, ticketing places etc.
- Structure your pay to include monthly bonuses and save the lump sum.
- Save any windfall or unexpected money such as tax returns, presents etc.
- Speak to your phone, internet, and utility providers regularly to see if any new cheaper plans are available.
- Plan your days spending as you start the day, don’t wait until you’re starving to think about how much you want to spend on lunch.
- Spend as regularly but spend less. Instead of getting the large meal, get the medium. Buy one CD instead of three.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

BUSINESS BOOK OF THE MONTH


‘Free Prize Inside’ By Seth Godin

All marketing students will know the prolific author Seth Godin, and probably have read his books ‘Purple Cow’ or ‘Permission Marketing’ (if you haven’t you should do so quickly before anyone realizes you haven’t!) His next read, ‘Free Prize Inside’ endeavors to offer ‘the next big marketing idea’.
Published in 2004 this bite size book is packaged in a cereal box with the book acting as the ‘free prize’. It can be read in a day or two and will get you itching to put its’ ideas into practice. Although pitched as a marketing man, Godin’s books, blogs, web presentations are interesting for anyone in business, which is everyone! He is a modern thinker and understands the modern consumer intimately, essential for us young movers and shakers in any industry.
‘Free Prize Inside’ is short and snappy in writing style, making it an easy read. It offers great practical advice in ‘cut out and carry with you’ form such as, ‘You can’t buy attention’ and ‘The harder you try to play it safe the more likely you are to fail’. He uses examples ranging from Redbull to David Letterman’s teeth to Yahoo! And demonstrates ideas in really simple graphs for visual people like myself!
In true marketing form he spends the first few chapters pumping up the book and how great it is that you’re reading it, someone bought it for you, you should buy it for other people etc. He includes a bit of business jargon some of which he has coined himself over the years such as, ‘champion’, ‘purple cow’, ‘edges’ but all in all very easy to understand.
My advice to best enjoy the Godin theology is to grab a copy of ‘Free Prize Inside’, skim over the headings, read the bits that sound interesting and sign up to his blog or watch some YouTube clips. However you do it, I hope you enjoy!

Friday, May 9, 2008

A Good Home Life with Housemates

After two years working in Real Estate I have heard a lot of bad housemate stories. Many tenants have had to leave houses due to messiness, inconsiderate noise, not paying rent on time and privacy issues. Apart from the odd unreasonable freak many of these household issues can be sorted out with a bit of ‘living’ preparation. Sit down and think about what is really important to you at home. Do you enjoy things being clean or would you rather live life and worry about the mess later? Discuss these things with your housemates at the beginning of the lease so everyone is very clear on everyone else’s expectations. Pin up these expectations somewhere communal so all housemates and their guests are reminded regularly. I have outlined some of the things I think are important to include.
Consider Other People and Their Belongings
§ Keep other housemate current with major life changes such as change of jobs, university courses, selling a car etc. as this may impact the whole house
§ When making decisions on or changing shared spaces such as where couches and TV’s are, or financial things such as internet you must consult with others and agree
§ Always ask to borrow clothes and personal items in person or via txt message
Guests are to be Respectful of Everyone
§ Guests are to be attended to by their host who is responsible for the guests behaviour
§ When returning home check if housemates are sleeping. If so, act quietly & SMS if anyone is staying over
§ Only people known/introduced to all housemates are allowed to stay over night
§ Guests may eat shared household and hosts personal food in moderation
§ If more then 5-6 people including host come over for a long period of time, a days notice to all housemates is required
§ If guests stay more then 3 - 4 nights a fortnight proportional contribution to household expenses is payable as agreed by housemates
Keep House and Housemates Safe at All Times
§ Locked and deadlocked front door when leaving the house empty
§ Front door is to be snipped locked so you can leave easy in case of emergency while people are sleeping
§ No spare keys are to be handed out to guests or hidden outside unless agreed to by all housemates
§ Do not discuss with others if the house is vacant or when a housemate is home alone for periods of time
All Bills to be Paid on Time
§ Rent paid weekly to main tenant
§ Water and Electricity and Gas to be paid quarterly by main tenant and reimbursed by each tenant pro-rata, according to period since commencement of lease
§ Use of utilities are to be used in reasonable amounts i.e. heaters, water, lights turned off when not in use
§ Gardening, shopping, shared household expenses to be recorded on household calendar and reimbursed monthly so each housemate has paid their share.

Household cleaning tasks to be shared among housemates
To be done fortnightly
Bathroom - Shower, Toilet, Sink, Floors
Vacuuming - All shared areas, and quickly in each bedroom
Outside – Watering, Mow lawns, Recycle bin out/in
Dusting - Surfaces, spider webs, books shelves
Moping – Tiled areas
To be done weekly
Outside – Garbage bin out/in
Lounge - Tidy and put personal items away when finished
Office - Tidy and put personal items away regularly
To be done daily
Kitchen
- Clean all dishes left in and around sink
- Stack dishwasher as you go and turn on when full
- Keep bench and table clear and clean each night

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Top Ten Things Oprah Taught Me

Years of Oprah viewing has taught me many life lessons. From how to live my best life to improving relationships to staying fit, I am never short of an Oprah-ism for any occasion. So to save all you valuable time I have plucked out the top ten things Oprah has taught me from the hundreds of hours of Oprah gold. Enjoy.


1) Live your best life
The overriding message of the Oprah philosophy is based on the idea, ‘If you want the best the world has to offer, offer the world your best.’
Based on the Reverend Jesse Jackson quote and Sidney Poitier philosophy, ‘Excellence is the best deterrent to racism. Therefore, be excellent.’ I agree with Oprah when she says that, ‘this is the most fulfilling path to personal freedom.’
2) Believe Peoples’ Character Ideas
If someone tells you who they believe them! They know themselves better then you do.
When people make comments such as 'I'm selfish' or 'I'm mean', you can save yourself time and effort by believing them as they already know their own history and relationships.
3) Have Aha! Moments
The greatest enlightenment you can have as we learn about life is when you hear something and think, 'I never thought of it that way'.
If you can think of things in a different way it means you are growing and challenging your own ideas and removing prejudices.

4) Love Doesn't Hurt
Relationships should not physically hurt. Any guy who says he loves you but displays threatening or abusing behavior, is lying about the love.
Over 10% of females are said to have been abused by a male in a relationship. Many girls depend emotionally on men and stay in these relationships. Stand up for yourself, complete yourself and end the abuse.
5) You Teach Others How to Treat You
Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, ‘Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ Dr. Phil regularly asks his guests, ‘Where did they get the idea they could treat you so badly? From you! You let them do it.’
6) Be Grateful Everyday
Oprah believes the, ‘magic of gratitude’ is the more grateful you are, the more you have to be grateful for.
Hard core’s like myself keep daily gratitude journals and look for five things a day to be grateful for. Getting up in the morning is different when you are looking for grateful acts.
7) Eat Breakfast!
Eating breakfast is like starting the car engine in the morning, it gets the metabolism working.
Oprah’s buddies Dr. Oz and personal trainer Bob Greene insist we eat breakfast and exercise everyday to get the heart pumping and body running well.
8) Make Wildest Dreams Come True
A simple act of kindness or time can go a long way, making others and yourself feel like a million bucks!
The 20th season of Oprah was all about Wildest Dreams and my favorite guest was Bernadette, an amazing Starbucks employee whom was supporting a family of twelve. Oprah swung in and helped her and her children, nieces and nephew and mother. I tear up remembering how overwhelmed with joy Bernadette was.
9) Surround Yourself with Beauty
Take time and care to make your home nice no matter what your budget is. Showing pride in your external world then allows you to look after your inner being.
Oprah talks about when she was younger and living in hardship she would find flowers to display or pin pictures up on the walls, anyway to show beauty around her.
10) Pay Debts Fast
Structure your repayments so you are repaying the loan with the highest interest rate off first.
Finance expert Suze Orman reminds us that many people make the mistake of repaying the loan with the largest amount owing first, forgetting the extra interest could be saved and help you pay off your debts faster!

Read the further articles and questions at www.nzgirl.co.nz! And while you're there sign up and check out their great fashion, travel and useful girl power advice!

MAY NZ GIRL Sneak Peak!


Q: Dear Frankie,
I have a rather strange and random ex boyfriend. We broke up at the start of the year and even though he lives overseas (which is why we broke up) we still keep in touch. After not hearing from him in two weeks, he randomly emailed me asking if I wanted to go on a ‘free no-strings attached, fun holiday’ with him! He said he’d fly me overseas and pay for everything! I still really care about him, but I have moved on, and I know it would never work between us (we tried long distance and it didn’t work). By the way he kept repeating the words ‘no-strings attached’ and ‘just fun’, I don’t think he wants to get back either (but it does sound like he wants some easy sex!).
It would be cool to hang out with him again and I would love a free holiday (who wouldn’t?!) but I’m worried that it might open up a whole can of worms… I’m scared I might fall back in love or want to try again… I really, really want to say yes (even though I realise it’s an international booty call!) but I’m not sure.
How would I explain it to my friends and family? And if I did go, how should we act? Like friends or ‘lovers’? Should I even go at all?! And what the heck is he even thinking offering?! Help a confused girl out!
A: Dear Confused,
An international booty call, how exotic?! WRONG! You didn’t say how long you were with him but to have moved on in five months is a fantastic feat! I wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything. I understand that lots of girls want to remain friends with their ex’s, but I have no idea why! But even if a regular friend invited you on a holiday you wouldn’t go if you knew there was a chance they would treat you badly, or heaven forbid use you for sex!
Why did he ask? Boys will always ask for two reasons; one, they want to make sure all possible options and doors are open as they are indecisive buggers and two, they don’t understand ‘getting over people’. It’s all very grey for them, they don’t label relationships like we do - ‘boyfriend’ ‘friend’ ‘ex boyfriend’, and conduct our behavior in accordance to the rules associated with that label.
But back to you! Yes, it might be cool to hang out with him again but it would probably be cool to have your mum make you a colorful birthday cake again, but we don’t do these things anymore, we’ve moved on! Follow your instincts; Oprah reminds us that a ‘maybe’ is as good as a ‘no’. Don’t fill your life with half experiences! If you think your family and friends would disapprove ask yourself why. Maybe they recognize he’s a bad influence on you? Or realise it will probably end in tears rather then a nice suntan?
I worry that for a holiday it would be more games then relaxing. If you did go the only way to act would be distant and detached so he knows you’re not interested in getting back together and shield yourself from getting hurt again. But where’s the fun in that holiday? Sounds like work to me! I’d rather wait until I could go on a holiday I paid for that fitted all my wants. Allow me to quote Destiny’s Child when I say, ‘The shoes on my feet, I’ve bought it, the clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it, ‘Cause I depend on me.’
Life is short and you are young. Don’t waste another second working on a jigsaw puzzle that you know is missing half the pieces!

Read the further articles and questions at www.nzgirl.co.nz! And while you're there sign up and check out their great fashion, travel and useful girl power advice!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Asking for a Pay Rise

Asking for a pay rise can often be daunting yet VERY IMPORTNANT. I often throw my hands up after the third parking ticket of the month and exclaim, ‘I wish I was rich…that would solve all my life problems!’ Usually a nearby slightly scared friend or family member will point out that parking in the right places might also help. Annoyingly I do agree with them, sometimes you must DECREASE your spending to save money, and sometimes you must also INCREASE your earning capacity.

As a student it is often hard to do either. Living on the ‘student knife edge’ where opulence and poverty can mean the difference between walking to uni and catching a tram. Demanding a higher wage can also be hard as you may be inflexible to your employers needs due to university commitments.

Student jobs can range from flipping burgers and making coffees to part time assistant roles and office jobs but no matter what industry or position you are in all jobs work on a basic supply and demand structure. It has been said that dirty, dangerous and demeaning jobs often pay best. Cleaning windows downtown pays well, but cleaning very dirty windows on the 80th floor pays better.

So, when thinking about approaching your manager or boss one good way to prepare yourself is to do your research. Ask yourself the following questions, have I demonstrated that I am competent in my role? Have I signed any sort of agreement that would limit my earning capacity? Is my direct manager the correct person to discuss this with? Or is the human resources department or store manager more appropriate? Be very careful with this questions as going above a mangers head can often damage your relationship with them and hard your chances of getting what you want.

The next thing to do is arm yourself with industry standards of pay, speak to the institution or association in the field you work in and ask them how the pay scale works. Find out where the industry skill shortages are, how you can fulfil them? Maybe you need to get another qualification, move interstate, change your pay structure from part time to casual or maybe you already have the skills and are working in the right place! Use this information to give yourself confidence when you approach your boss or maybe to realise that its time to find a new job!

When asking for a pay rise it is always good use inclusive word such as ‘we’, ‘us’ and ‘I’ a lot, ‘I feel I contribute a lot and we have achieved great results’ rather then, ‘Don’t you think I contribute a lot?’ Keep in mind THEY the employer must benefit from this rise as well. NEVER justify a pay rise by telling them how your personal expenses have gone up, ‘I’m paying back my HECS’ or ‘I’ve bought a car and need more money for petrol’. You must show them how they will benefit from you remaining with them or taking on additional responsibilities and tasks, ‘I have shown through my six months of work here that I am reliable and trustworthy and can therefore close the shop or help train the new workers.’

In terms of when to ask for a pay rise, timing is everything. When approaching your manager make it clear what you want, how to get it and a time frame. Ask your manager, ‘I wanted to map out my key performance indicators required to receive a $3 an hour pay rise at my next review.’ Then stay quiet. Let them talk themselves into helping you. My father always says, ‘the first one to speak in a negotiation looses.’ As an employee it can be tempting to settle for less then you want to avoid confrontation or discomfort.

To Feature in April RMIT Catalyst Magazine

BUSINESS BOOK OF THE MONTH


“BASIC BLACK: The Essential Guide for Getting Ahead at Work (and in Life)” By Cathie Black President Hearst Magazines

A friend recently passed on the book, ‘Basic Black’ to me touting it was a great and easy read and rare to find a female business women at the top of her game actually stand up and tell people about herself. I agree, most business books are written by men and many business autobiographies are about these men. It seems that once one achieves success of any sort they rush out and print a million hardbacks. Richard Branson has done it, Donald Trump seems to do it every year. But where are the women?


Cathie Black has released her business book with female style and is not ashamed to show it. She tackles female issues head on with a matter of fact manner that is liberating. These issues include how to compete in a male dominated field, how to use your female advantage, feelings of being intimidated, and managing personal pressures at home etc.

This considered it is certainly not for a female only audience. Black draws on her astounding four decades in the media business and has been described by the Financial Times as “one of the leading figures in American publishing over the past two decades” as the head of Hearst Magazines, one of the worlds largest publishers of monthly magazines.


The book itself has been translated into twelve languages and has seen great success in book charts around the world. Black breaks the chapters into practical case studies, tips and personal anecdotes with cameos of people such as Rupert Murdoch, Oprah Winfrey, Gloria Steinem, Francis Ford Coppola, Harvey Weinstein, and Al Neuharth.

A testament to her credentials, Black is one of very few who has appeared on Fortune magazine’s “50 Most Powerful Women in American Business" list every year since its 1998 début. What more do you need? Get out and read it!

Useful Relevent Links

Industry Based Learning
http://www.swinburne.edu.au/ict/ibl
http://www.anzgraduates.com.au
http://www.youthcentral.vic.gov.au
http://careers.deloitte.com/studentgrad.aspx

Industry Pay Levels
http://www.linkrecruitment.com.au (Salary Survey Snapshots)
http://au.hudson.com (Salary Guides)

Pay Rise Advice
http://www.seek.com.au (Winning salary negotiations)
http://www.careerone.com.au/jobs (Payrise, Video)

Industry Associations
http://www.graduateopportunities.com/industry_info
http://www.skillsinfo.gov.au

Reader Questions & Answers

Question

Hi Linda-Margaret,
My understanding of the Reserve Bank hiking interest rates up is that they are trying to curb inflation, which due to our booming economy (thanks to full employment among other things), is growing at too fast a rate. Therefore, the Reserve Bank uses interest rates to clamp on spending, to slow inflation down. Is this what is really happening? Do you think that people will turn to credit to make up the difference in spending, or curb their spending, as the RB want?
Also, it annoys me that the government doesn't do anything to support the RB like making an announcement to explain to the people about why interest rates are going up. Most people don't understand, and they think it’s just the RB trying to get more money. What do you think?
Juliet from Surrey Hills

Answer

Hi Juliet,
Great questions! Your right, the RB puts up interest rates to curb inflation and growth in consumer spending, by increasing mortgage repayments. The problem is the effect isn’t instant. This is the lesson learnt from the 1980's 'recession we had to have.' They jacked interest rates up then, when nobody changed they did it again, and again, and again. Interest rate rises can take 6-12 months to take effect. People struggle for a while, use their credit cards to get by then, as a last resort stop spending. We will probably see it get worse before it gets better I think.
It is true lots of people think the government controls interest rates. The government does very little to dispel this rumour while the rates are low and the economy is good. Reasons for interest rate changes are released by the RB after their monthly meetings on the first Tuesday of the month http://www.rba.gov.au/MediaReleases/2008/mr_08_03.html.
Cheers, Linda-Margaret

Friday, March 21, 2008

APRIL NZ GIRL Sneak Peak!

New Zealand Girl Magazine are re-launching their 'Super Kitty' advice column! Sneak peak here for some of the questions and answers before they are launched at http://www.nzgirl.co.nz/

Q: SuperKitty, it's all gone horribly wrong!I have been dating this guy since 2000 exclusively, or so I thought. As it turns out he's been seeing me and another girl the whole time. I just want things to go back the way they were and I think it's crazy for me to even want to be with him. What is wrong with me?

A: Okay hon, lets start with the most important thing…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! Nothing, zip, ziltch….yet. Unfortunately, we girls are, as you say, very forgiving, often to our own detriment. Allow me to evoke the famous George W Bush-ism last words before he invaded Iraq, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” This guy, to put it mildly, sounds like a creep. You wouldn’t let your best friend or little sister date someone like this, so why let yourself?
Think about it, you’ve said you can’t get over him but you will have to eventually. Why wait to do it later when you can do it now and possibly meet a fantastic doctor, working with underprivileged children, whom can cook, with a huge trust fund, great body and whom WON’T cheat?
Good luck! And remember. You deserve to be happy, rip that bandaid off quickly, not slowly and don’t dip your foot slowly into the pool, JUMP!

Q: My problem is that I wish I was rich SuperKitty, but I'm not. The job I have at the moment is great. The people are awesome, the job itself is fine, everything's great- except the pay. I need to find a way of bringing in some more money, but I'm not sure how?

A: I hear you sister, I often throw my hands up after the third parking ticket of the month and exclaim, ‘I wish I was rich…that would solve all my life problems!’
All jobs work on a basic supply and demand system with the added hassle of personal agendas, egos and hierarchies. Surprise surprise, the business world was established by men and therefore to get ahead you often need to be a man or behave a bit like one. So for us NZ girls, we can get the best education, be a great team worker, be great at our jobs, flirt a bit but we also need to know how to negotiate and stare down the barrel of a scary testosterone driven money game.
One good way to prepare yourself is to do your research. Arm yourself with industry standards of pay, speak to the institution or association in the field you work in and ask them how the pay scale works. Find out where the industry skill shortages are, how you can fulfil them? Maybe you need to get another qualification, move interstate or maybe you already have the skills and working in the high demand sector! Use this information to give yourself confidence when you approach your boss or to realise it’s time to find a new job!

Read the full articles and questions at www.nzgirl.co.nz SOON! And while you're there sign up and check out their great fashion, travel and useful girl power advice!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

NUMBER CRUNCH

How will all this affect you?
Your rent
New tenancy agreements will be more expensive
Ongoing tenancy agreements are restricted under law regarding often they can increase and by how much
Your mortgage
National cash interest rates at 7.25%, the highest since December 1994
Victorian house prices remaining the same or increasing (depending on location)
A tough time to enter the property market
Job opportunities
Domestic consumer services roles may decrease e.g. hospitality, retails
Exportable skills may be under greater demand e.g. niche manufacturing, financial services
Unions and employees campaign for pay increases to meet increased cost of living
Traveling
Australian $0.90 (and over) = American $1.00
Great time to go overseas!
Cost of living
Petrol prices continue to rise, $1.50 to $3.00 a liter in the next 12 months
Basic goods will increase as transport and other costs increase
Stock Market
Funds move away from America and into emerging markets or the more ‘secure’ minerals oil and gold