If you've ever felt a sneaky suspicion he's not quite right for you, then you need to read our guide to the five boys that aren't forever material...
But for how long do we window shop? I often worry that if I wait until I am 30 to settle down all the good bargains will have been snapped up! OK, enough with the shopping metaphor but you see what I’m getting at. So, I have devised a ‘top 5 boys’ list of guys you should date before you settle down with the one.
The bad boy
What’s attractive?Bad is hot. Big muscles, car grease, devil may care attitudes – yum yum! They ooze confidence and you love them paying attention to you. Everything they do is exciting, spontaneous and risky.
What’s not so attractive?His spontaneous behavior will also apply to you, he’ll stand you up, treat you mean and even embarrass you. His unreliable nature will wear thin pretty quickly as you begin to feel used and ignored. Intimacy is not a strength of his and the more you want it, the less he gives.
What he’ll teach you?Once you’ve seen the other side of the grass is not greener, you will be more content to stay on straight side of the wild side. You will appreciate the steadiness and loyalty of your final partner and truly understand that you cannot change people.
What’s not so attractive?His spontaneous behavior will also apply to you, he’ll stand you up, treat you mean and even embarrass you. His unreliable nature will wear thin pretty quickly as you begin to feel used and ignored. Intimacy is not a strength of his and the more you want it, the less he gives.
What he’ll teach you?Once you’ve seen the other side of the grass is not greener, you will be more content to stay on straight side of the wild side. You will appreciate the steadiness and loyalty of your final partner and truly understand that you cannot change people.
The passionate lover
Think Leo in Romeo and Juliet. The passionate lover is absolutely besotted with you, and you with him. You will want to spend every minute together and fulfill each other’s every need. A very intense emotional relationship with amazing highs and soul crushing lows.
Think Leo in Romeo and Juliet. The passionate lover is absolutely besotted with you, and you with him. You will want to spend every minute together and fulfill each other’s every need. A very intense emotional relationship with amazing highs and soul crushing lows.
What’s attractive?You feel like a goddess! You feel loved, worshipped and your estrogen levels are going crazy. Your world is filled with sunshine and lollipops.
What’s not so attractive?Suddenly the attentiveness becomes needy, overbearing and you feel suffocated. This kind of love is unsustainable and unhealthy. Many women will feel that they loose their sense of self and isolate loved ones.
What he’ll teach you?You will tackle the question ‘is love enough?’ and discover what else is important to you. Things such as compatibility, unconditionally support, truth and reality will lead you away from the fragile Disney picture of happily ever after.
What’s not so attractive?Suddenly the attentiveness becomes needy, overbearing and you feel suffocated. This kind of love is unsustainable and unhealthy. Many women will feel that they loose their sense of self and isolate loved ones.
What he’ll teach you?You will tackle the question ‘is love enough?’ and discover what else is important to you. Things such as compatibility, unconditionally support, truth and reality will lead you away from the fragile Disney picture of happily ever after.
Think Aidan Shaw in Sex in the City. The box ticker is the kind of guy your mother would pick, and your family will love him at Christmas dinners. He has a respectable stable job, is good with cars, can kill spiders and will always tell you your bum looks great in that skirt!
What’s attractive?It’s easy, everyone will love him and on paper, so do you. He treats you with respect and you can map out the rest of your blissful life together in a committed adult relationship.
What’s not so attractive?Predictable can be boring, life is too short not to reach for the stars. Your heart does not always agree with your head, and you may feel repressed and resentful in the future.
What he’ll teach you?This time the question, ‘is sensible enough?’ will plague you. Suddenly new things you hadn’t thought of before are important to you - like being challenged, learning and having passion.
What’s not so attractive?Predictable can be boring, life is too short not to reach for the stars. Your heart does not always agree with your head, and you may feel repressed and resentful in the future.
What he’ll teach you?This time the question, ‘is sensible enough?’ will plague you. Suddenly new things you hadn’t thought of before are important to you - like being challenged, learning and having passion.
The Chloe Handbag
Think
What’s attractive?He is! And so are you when you are showing him off. Your photo album never looked better! You feel the need to introduce him to everyone you’ve ever met referring to him as ‘your boyfriend’ every opportunity you get!
What’s not so attractive?You know you deserve the finest in the world but you are secretly worried. Worried he’s going to cheat, you’re not attractive enough, why he is he with me at all and that it won't last. This leads to an insecure foundation and eventual heartbreak.
What he’ll teach you?Once you’ve proven to yourself you can get the stud you can focus on a 'good personality'. Personal priorities appear, ‘am I willing to spend that much time maintaining the outside appearance?' Your grandmother told you, but now you believe her ‘looks aren’t everything.'
The diamond in the rough
Think poor Albert Brennaman in Hitch or Harry Goldenblatt in Sex and the City. The diamond in the rough is an old-fashioned fixer upper. He is endearing, makes a good friend, is a tad socially awkward and usually has some random specialty.
What’s attractive?His comfortable and loving nature puts you at ease. You find his little flaws, that only you understand, charming. You value each other and smile when you think about him.
What’s not so attractive?It may be difficult for your friends and family to understand the attraction and to accept him straight away. His faults will become too hard to look past making you frustrated, and the rough may mean you are not as attracted to him as you want.
What he’ll teach you?He will teach you the value in getting to know the genuine individual within and that nobody is perfect, even you.
Think poor Albert Brennaman in Hitch or Harry Goldenblatt in Sex and the City. The diamond in the rough is an old-fashioned fixer upper. He is endearing, makes a good friend, is a tad socially awkward and usually has some random specialty.
What’s attractive?His comfortable and loving nature puts you at ease. You find his little flaws, that only you understand, charming. You value each other and smile when you think about him.
What’s not so attractive?It may be difficult for your friends and family to understand the attraction and to accept him straight away. His faults will become too hard to look past making you frustrated, and the rough may mean you are not as attracted to him as you want.
What he’ll teach you?He will teach you the value in getting to know the genuine individual within and that nobody is perfect, even you.
Once you have been with these five you will have experienced a variety of the highs and lows that love offers. You will have learnt what’s truly important to you and the strengths you can offer to your Mr. Forever. Don’t forget, he’s out there trying to find you too!
Good Luck!
Good Luck!
